Lifestyle & Parenting Blog

Unpleasant Blast From The Past

Earlier today I got a bit of a blast from the past – a very unpleasant one at that! One that had me chatting to my JoziDiva via BBM for some time, dredging up the past. Some of the words to describe a certain individual I dare not mention on this blog…

Would not want my little brown eyes to peek at my words and decipher the intensity of the language I use to describe a certain peson whom has never featured in his life…I am writing this in ‘code’ so hope you know who I am referring to. Maybe the term single parent will be enough of a hint…

The monetary strain is draining to say the least! Add to this the ineffective maintenance system where you are told “well, you should be happy with what you getting since others are getting far less” – for f’s sake – support, that doesn’t even stretch to the four figure mark! Then the risk of a “reduction” since people have become adept in using the justice system and their rights to their own benefit and to hell with the situation at hand and no recourse offered!

“It’s all so wrong. He should be paying half of everything” was the response from my very good friend.

“I am itching to write a hardcore blog, stripping this person to pieces, riveting block buster movie type writing! But I think of my little brown eyes and know that I would be doing him an injustice  by publically humiliating you know who. I do not want little brown eyes to be tainted by the way I feel right now. As a little person, it is his right to draw his own conclusions when it comes to this person. Little brown eyes is intelligent and insightful and when he is older he will see it for what it is without needing to be exposed to the detail of it all” I replied.

You may read this and think what the hell is she writing about. But, if you get what this blog is about, then both thumbs up to you!

The only reason why I’m actually writing this is because a few minutes ago I followed one of these links on Facebook.

“Find out what kind of storm youWhat Storm Am I are”  – Flip, I can so relate to this one when thinking of this person I’m ‘not’ writing about. Going to a South African maintenance court is really like going on the “warpath” – I had the ugliest experience ever! This storm however made it very clear that she will not allow anyone to mess with the well being of her little brown eyes! He is not some pawn to be used in the game of power that social status and money seems to make some people believe they have? I refuse to let him be exposed to an environment where he is the silent whispers around the room, oh the shame of it all, the one who must remain hidden.. double F that high and mighty crap!

“Find out what your What Spirit Am Ispirit is” –  The last sentence, “you are also adept at looking beyond your current situation and planning ahead” resonated with me, since this is exactly what I had to do today.

I must admit, that I don’t believe in this sort of thing, these online apps that tel you who you are based on your name, etc.But  I thought I’d share it, to put this post into context.

The chances of me writing about this part of my life again is extremely slim, it is a non feature, really, except for when these random things happen like today!

I’ve had my fair share of crap to deal with and have concluded that when the “you know what” hits the fan, the best thing to do is to pull yourself towards yourself, smell the crap, deal with it and move on.

Reflection is a beauty…she often becomes crystal clear when you least expect it. Life is filled with unexpected events… don’t delve on it for too long…


9 comments on “Unpleasant Blast From The Past

  1. Namreen Sonday
    March 20, 2015

    I love how you rationalised your irritation! The SA justice system may suck, but the laws of the universe always plays fair☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sula
    March 20, 2015

    I know how you feel, I dealt with the same situation long ago and it simply is not fair. I sorted that prince charming out, he tried to hide from me so I phoned up his Mum and said “sorry since I cant find x, I will have to claim maintenence from you” as far as SA law goes, that’s gotta be the coolest one, you can claim from the person’s parents if he fails to pay

    Liked by 1 person

    • chevslife
      March 20, 2015

      Sula, unfortunately, the Judge would not even consider this option at my time of application and things just got uglier…I am grateful that the ugliness stayed in court though and never spilled over into our personal lives. The ugliness was driven by paternal GM who at the time was also doing her articles at a legal firm and claimed to be legal representative. GM did not approve of me addressing my concerns that she did not have a case file number from the practice and was quickly put in her place by maintenance officer preciding over the case. It was horrible to say the least. But I stood my ground and walked out with my dignity in tact, a stronger woman and a continued maintenance order – even though it is nowhere near what I applied for.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mommajo2013
    March 20, 2015

    As a former single momma I feel your pain, to a certain extent. I commend you for being both momma and papa to your little brown eyes. Though I was a single momma for 3 years (with little financial support in the first 2 years) my, now almost 13 year old *eeek*, son has always had a wonderful relationship with his father (with whom he recently moved in with *sob*). I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to raise a child all on your own. Hats off to you, you are far stronger than I could ever be *lifts champagne glass in salute*

    Liked by 1 person

    • chevslife
      March 20, 2015

      Big hug to you! Thanks for your kind words. Many years ago, I’ve decided to always ensure that all decisions made will be in the best interest of little brown eyes. His happiness and emotional & psychological well being is at the heart of all decisions.


  4. Dave
    March 20, 2015

    I applaud you for not bashing “he who will not be mentioned” in front of little brown eyes, and letting him make the decision for himself when he is old enough to. That’s far more mature than the other person. Don’t relent on that hurricane, though – and keep pushing for what is owed to you both. Strength!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. JoziDiva
    January 28, 2016

    Every day, you astound me with how far you have come. The grace and true class you have shown in every challenge you face is a lesson for us all. I lose my cool far too quickly. You are an amazing mother with a huge heart and the most loyal friend to me. Love you millions my sister from another mister xoxo

    PS thanks everyone who has commented, ya’ll are awesome 🙂


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This entry was posted on March 19, 2015 by in Parenting and tagged , , , , .
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